Oh, the Notebook of Insantiy!
by TobiLeFaye
Summary: I am terribly sorry about my inability to create a good title. Naruto Fullmetal Alchemist Crossover, also my first fic so be nice. R&R Please!Will be updated soon maybe, i promise. Formerly Oh, the Insanity!
1. The Beginging

(Recently underwent a Grammar/Spelling/Idea fix. All original comments will be preserved)

Warning: Dorochet OoC ness/ My brother helped me write the first part so don't ask/ Rated for safety

Disclaimer: Do not own anything except story idea.

**Chapter One**

It was a cold and rainy morning at the Devil's Nest, but somehow Dorochet kept himself busy with a feather. He was blowing it across the couch, really annoying Marta.

"Dorochet!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Marta, totally ignoring the feather being blown across her lap.

"How can I help you?" asked Dorochet; this making Marta really mad.

"Quit blowing that feather in my face!!!"

Dorochet picked up the feather, and went to where Greed was sitting. Before he could blow on the feather Greed said, "Don't even think about it."

Again, Dorochet moved, but this time to Kimbly. Five seconds later, BOOM!

"Oops. My fault," said Kimbly, laughing insanely.

"You broke my toy!" said Dorochet, sounding like a two-year-old.

"Dorochet, quit being a baby!" said Marta. "Here have another feather."

"YAY!!!!!!!" said Dorochet, as it all started over again.

By noon, everyone was so annoyed that they all went for a walk.

"But I don't want to!" whined Dorochet.

"Well to bad!" said Marta, dragging Dorochet out the door by his ear.

"Ahhhhhh! Marta! You know I have sensitive ears!"

"Let him stay Marta," said Greed. "What's the worst that could happen?" "You don't want to know," said Marta shutting Dorochet in. "We'll be back soon," said Marta.

When they got back, they opened the door and found pancakes, butter, and syrup everywhere.

"Dorochet!!!!" everyone yelled.

"I like pancakes!" said Dorochet, annoying everyone.

-Suddenly Naruto pops out of nowhere in a puff of smoke-

Naruto: Hey everybody; what's going on?

Greed: Who are you? And what's with the whiskers?

Naruto: My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm gonna become the Hokage, Believe It!

Greed: Hokage…?

Naruto: (Looks at Greed like he's crazy) you don't know who the Hokage is!?

Greed: No, I can't say I do…

Naruto: Where am I?

Marta: In a bar in Dublith…

Naruto: O.o Dublith? Is that in the Land of Lightning?

Marta: No, it's in Amestris

Naruto :…..( totally confused) How in the… Where in the…. Where did Hinata go?

Marta: Hinata?

_**In Central HQ**_

Hughes: (on the phone with Roy) So, Roy did you get the e-mail just I sent you…. aren't those pictures of Elicia adorable!!!!

Roy: Yes… but why did you waste a whole five minutes just to send me pictures you've already shown me 1,000,000 times!

-Suddenly in the middle of Hughes' office there is a big puff of smoke-

Hughes: What in the world…

- The smoke clears to show a teenage girl with blue hair and pale lavender eyes coughing on the floor-

Hughes: Who are you… a friend of Fullmetal's?

Hinata: M-my name is Hinata. W-who? (cough)

Hughes: Well you obviously don't know Ed… Well, how did you get here?

Hinata: I don't know, last I knew, Naruto and I were going to Ichiraku's …

Hughes: Naruto?… Is he your boyfriend?

Hinata: N-no! Of course not (blushing)

Hughes: Right, just like Ed and his mechanic aren't together…but oh well…

Hinata: So where am I?

Hughes: You're in Central City Military Headquarters!

Hinata: Where exactly is that?

Hughes: (thinking) wow she really doesn't know where she is… maybe I can help her)

It's in a country known as Amestris… You really don't know what Amestris is do you?

Hinata: no, not really…

Hughes: (thinking) she must be from some alternate universe…

_(AN: Hughes, my friend you are not too far from the truth)_

Hughes: So who is this Naruto?

Hinata: (blushing) He is well… a… boy from the same place I live, and h-he is really nice and b-brave and…

Hughes : I meant: "What does he look like?"

Hinata: (seriously blushing now) oh… w-well he h-has blonde hair and always w-wears an o-orange jacket and has f-fox whiskers on his face

Hughes: Ok

Roy: (still on the phone) HUGHES!!!! What happened!

Hughes: (picking up the phone) Sorry about that Roy, a girl just appeared in the middle of my office.

Roy: A girl? Does Gracia know about this?

Hughes: (sigh) not that kind of girl…

Roy: Ok then, who is she?

Hughes: Her name is Hinata.

Roy: Ok, what does she want?

Hughes: We need to help her find her boyfriend and get back home

Hinata: (blushing again) He is not my boyfriend!

Hughes: (To Hinata) sure, just like Ed's not 'with' his mechanic

_**In Risenbool**_

Ed and Al were sitting at the table, Ed eating a pie Winry had just baked, Al was just staring, amazed at his brother's bizarre eating habits.

Al: Brother, slow down. You are going to get a stomachache.

Ed: (With his mouth full of yummyful pie) Wha are you talkingf abourf Al?

Al: (Shaking his head)

-Suddenly a poof of smoke interrupts Ed's next bite, what looked like a 14 year-old guy in a black jacket appeared in the smoke. He had a weird hat and (what looked like) a mummy on his back appeared in the smoke-

Ed: (Swallows his pie) who are you?!!?!?!?!

Haha! Don't flame too hard, it's my first fic, and I love the script form… so much easier for me to understand…Please Read and Review... it'll be my first review ever!!


	2. Ed, Meet Kankuro!

Victory!!! My brother is no longer helping me write, so it will be a little saner… but just a little… Just to say, my nickname for Kankuro is Kanki, so if I call him that sometime, im sorry.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything except story idea…

Chapter 2: Ed, meet Kankuro.

Ed: (swallows his cake) Who are you!?!?!?!?

The guy stands up and looks around-

Person that just appeared: (cough) where did Gaara go… Name's Kankuro.Wait, what's with the short dude?

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD BE TAKEN DOWN BY AN ANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kankuro: I didn't say that…

Al: Brother calm down

Kankuro: (Thinking) Great, im in the middle of nowhere with a talking suit of armor and a kid with a short complex, Great…

Ed: (After finally calming down) So, Kankuro is it? How did you get here?

Kankuro: Yes and I don't know. Last I knew, I was running away from Gaara so he wouldn't kill me…

Ed: Who's Gaara?

Kankuro: My evil little brother

Ed: You shouldn't call your little brother evil

Kankuro: You don't know Gaara… He really is evil

Al: How so?

Kankuro: Let's see, how do I put this…well… He kills thinking it's the only reason he's alive…

Ed and Al: … wow that is evil… is that all he does?

Kankuro: No, if you make him mad he will come after you with a knife even if you are his brother or sister, and he has a demon sealed within him…

Ed: A… demon?

Kankuro: yep, named Shukaku.

Al: Wow.. so you have a sister?

Kankuro: Yep, her name is Temari, she is a year older that me, and she wields a giant fan.

Al: so what's with the mummy on your back?

Kankuro: It's not a mummy, it's a puppet

Ed: A… puppet? Sounds like a giant doll to me…

Kankuro: I heard that midget boy! It's not a doll! It is a puppet controlled by chakra

Ed: (growling)

Al: By what?

Kankuro: Never mind, what are your guy's names?

Al: This is my older brother Ed, and my name is Al

Kankuro: Ok… older brother? Shouldn't the older brother be taller than the younger?

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ANT COLONY WOULD KICK HIM OUT FOR BEING A RUNT!!!!

Kankuro: You, but that still doesn't answer my question…

Al: Kankuro, I'll show you around, Ok?

Kankuro: Alright

-After showing Kankuro around, Ed and Al told him about how Al got in the armor and why Ed has metal limbs-

Yay 'nuther chappie done!!! This is the un-laziest ive been all weekend! (we don't have school today so yes it is a weekend still)!! Thankies everybody who reviewed!!


	3. Dublith

Hi everybody!!! Yeah, writers block isn't fun, so im sorry if it's bad, it's the first thing that popped into the empty skull I call a brain…my brother's he's helping me write again…

Disclaimer: I only own the few packages of Ramen my brother didn't eat yesterday, nothing else in this story.

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Chapter 3: Dublith 

Naruto: Hey what are you peoples' names?

Greed: Well, I'm Greed, this is Marta, Dorochet, Roa, Bido, Kimbley, and the others don't really care what you call them…

Naruto: So, what do you do for fun around here?

Greed: Uh... Nothing really… we just kinda entertain each other

Naruto: Ok, Im really bored; can you maybe show me around the city?

Greed: No

Naruto: Why not?

Greed: Because I don't take orders from some bratty, lost little kid.

Naruto: Ok, could you maybe help me find my friend…

Greed: Who's your friend?

Naruto: Her name is Hinata Hyuuga, does that mean you will help?

Greed: I guess I could try, if it'll make you shut up…

Naruto: (stomach growls loudly) Do you have any Ramen?

Greed: Ramen?

Naruto: (gasps and falls over unconscious)

Dorochet: (pulls a stick out of nowhere and starts poking Naruto's head with it) Is he ok?

Naruto: (comes back to consciousness) HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT RAMEN IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greed: Pretty easily, because I've never heard of it…

Naruto: OK, well I will have to find you some and let you try it!!! Where's the nearest store/market!! (Yes Naruto actually said the 'slash' while talking here)

Dorochet: You could go could go to the Curtis' Butcher Shop…

Naruto: What will I do there? I'm looking for ramen, not meat!

Dorochet: I dunno, you could ask them for help…

Naruto: Then what are we waiting for?

Dorochet: What do you mean, 'we'?

Naruto: You're coming along, too, right?

Dorochet: Not if I don't have to.

Greed: I'll go; I have nothing better to do.

Marta: Yeah, I guess I'll go too.

Roa: Me, too.

Kimbley: No, thanks

Bido: Yeah, me either…

Dorochet: DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE 2!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!! (Gives huge puppy eyes!!)

Greed: Ok, you're the one who said you didn't want to go…

Naruto: Sometime today people!!!

Greed: Fine let's go

-Everybody except Kimbley and Bido follows Greed out the door into the heart of Dublith-

Greed: So, Mr. Genius-doggy-boy, where do we go now?

Dorochet: Turn left at this next corner…

Greed: How do you know that?!

Dorochet: Before I joined the military and got stuck in Lab 5, I lived here in Dublith… so did Marta…

Greed: (Looks at Marta) He's joking right?

Marta: Nope, him and I were best friends until I moved to Central

Greed: Wow… I had no clue

Marta: (under her breath) yeah well ur an idiot

Greed: What was that Marta?

Marta: Nothing…

Naruto: So how much farther is it Dorochet?

Dorochet: Were here!

Naruto: Oh… (Looks at meat shop in front of him)

Greed: What are you waiting for?

Naruto: That kid in there, with the red hair, standing next to the girl with green hair and the one with the black hair… Have you ever seen him before?

Greed: No, y, have you?

Naruto: Yes…I think his name is Gaara

-To be continued-

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Haha, so happy, nuther chappie done!!! I would like to give NoaEdsLover some credit; she helped me with the Gaara part. Marta didn't really mean what she said '(under her breath) yeah well ur an idiot'; she was just getting annoyed with Greed's obliviousness. Plz R&R!! 


	4. Kitties!

Yay Im back. Sorry it took so long to update, I've been really busy and lazy lately plus ive had this major writer's block so my brother will smack me in the forehead for punishment and possibly help… I thank everybody who reviewed for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist, if I did, the Devil's Nest crew (counting Kimblee), Hughes, and Hayate would still be alive …

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**Chapter 4: Kitties!!!**

-Hinata and Hughes are waiting for Gracia and Elicia to come home-

Hughes: So… Where did you come from?

Hinata: It is a place called Konohagakure; it is in the Land of Fire. I am one of their ninja…

Hughes: Konohagakure? Land of Fire? Ninja? Please explain.

Hinata: Ok…

Hughes: (interrupting) And while you do look these pictures of my beautiful daughter Elicia! (Shoves them in Hinata's face)

Hinata: Oh my gosh, she is SO ADORABLE!!!

Hughes: (looks confused and scared)

-Gracia and Elicia walk in the door –

Gracia: Maes, are you home? (To Hinata) Who are you?

Hughes: Yes, and I brought a friend, her name is Hinata. She got pulled into our world somehow and thought she might like to stay with us

Elicia: (To Hinata) Wow, you're really pretty

Hinata: Thank you, you are too!

Hughes: (Chuckles) I see these two are already friends.

Gracia: Hinata, is it? You can sleep on the extra bed in Elicia's room tonight.

Hinata: All right, thank you!

Gracia: Its no trouble

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In Risembool

Winry: EDWARD ELRIC!!!!!!

Ed: What?

Winry: Who is this guy in my kitchen eating my pie?

Ed: His name is Kankuro

Winry: What is he doing here!

Kankuro: I'm sitting right here, you don't have to yell over my head

Winry: Sorry, so what are you doing here?

Kankuro: I have no idea; I just appeared her when I was running away from my evil little brother, Gaara.

Winry: You shouldn't call your little brother evil.

Kankuro: I've already had this conversation once and im not having it again!

Winry: What?

Ed: He said the same thing to me and Al earlier, by the way, where is Al?

Winry: I think he is outside

Kankuro: I'll go look for him

-Kankuro gets up and goes outside-

Kankuro: Al, AL!!!

Al: I'm back here!!

Kankuro: (Goes around behind the house to see Al holding a small grey kitten)

Al: Hello, look at this kitten I found! Isn't it cute?

Kankuro: (grabs the kitten from Al's hands, gently as to not hurt the kitten, and hugs it) Its sooooooooo cute!!!

Al: (shocked)

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I love kitties as much as Al does so I had to put that! I hate writers block so if anybody has any ideas for this please tell me. Next up: Commercial 2!!! See ya! Plz read and review! 


	5. Things Get Complicated

Ok, I know you are all mad at me for not updating for so long. I am dreadfully sorry for my lazyness and writers block and stuff. Please don't kill me. Again I'm sorry. On a happier note_**I FOUND THE NOTEBOOK OF INSANITY!!!!**_ It was in my English folder, why it was there I do not have any idea at all. I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Ariel, for helping me write this chapter. I also would like to thank my friend Danielle for helping me write this too.

Disclaimer: Do not own anything… I wish I did, but I don't.

Chapter 5: Things Get Confusing

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-In Dublith-

Greed: So, you know that kid in there? Oh, and by the way, that 'girl' with the green hair… is a guy. My step-son to be exact.

Naruto: A guy!!! Are you serious!!!

Marta: Ahem. Step-son? O.o

Naruto: Oooh…you're in trouble

Greed: Marta, about that…

Marta: Greed… I don't want to hear it

Naruto: (laughs) at least it ain't me this time

Gaara: (sees Naruto and walks up to him) Don't I know you from somewhere?

Naruto: (looks away) umm… nope, don't think so

Gaara: Oh, yes. You are that loser from the Chunin Exams.

Naruto: (angry) I am not a loser. I can beat you any day any time.

Gaara: You want to try it?

Naruto: (still angry) HELL YEAH, BRING IT ON!

-Before Naruto can blink, he and Greed are trapped in a bubble of sand-

Naruto: DARN IT!!!

Gaara: So, you still think you can beat me, loser?

Naruto: (looks down at his body) Gaara get me out of this sand now!

Gaara: Shut your trap…

Naruto: Make me!!!

Gaara: (squeezes sand harder) Fine

-Naruto attempts to jump out of the way. Greed just stands there looking bored-

Gaara: I don't think so Uzumaki (lifts another hand and wraps sand around Greed )

Greed: So you're Gaara. Right? Nice to meet you. Im Greed.

Gaara: Nice to meet you too. (does sand coffin and expects Greed to die)

Greed: Um.. Marta, I think this pipsqueak is trying to kill me...

Marta: Gee, you think?

Greed: Seriously, Marta. I think you should be more worried if someone is trying to cause me bodily harm…

Marta: (sighs) idiot. In case you've forgotten. YOU ARE A HOMUNCULUS! You can't be 'harmed'!

Gaara: (not hearing Marta and getting very frustrated, keeps using sand coffin on Greed) DIE!!!

Greed: Hey, twerp. In case you didn't hear her, I can't die. Try all you want

Naruto: Ha ha!

Gaara: (glare) shut your trap. You are not in any position to be talking, loser

Greed: Are you done squishing me with sand yet, kid?

Gaara: Envy, why won't this cocky bastard die?

Envy: eh… that cocky bastard is immortal, shrimp

Gaara: you could have told me that earlier

Envy: if you were listening, they did moron.

Gaara: Hey blonde chick! I bet he makes for a good stress reliever…

-Gaara uses sand coffin on Greed's head again-

Greed: You done yet, im getting bored.

Gaara: (evil smirk) Alright then… (sends sand over and crushes both Marta's legs)

Greed: Hey Hey Hey! You do whatever the hell you want to me, but if you touch her, you die!!

-Dorochet and Roa start tending to Marta's legs-

Greed: (Grabs scruff of Gaara's shirt) what the hell do you think you're doing!?

Marta: Greed, I'm Fine. (Winces in pain as Dorochet wraps up her left knee)

Greed: Fine my ass! Have you seen your legs recently?!

Gaara: ok are you done talking to your girlfriend or are you going to try to hurt me?

Greed: (throws Gaara into the wall)

Gaara: (gets up, his head bleeding. Makes his sand hover over Dorochet, Marta, and Roa)

Greed: (wraps both hands around Gaara's neck) Don't ---king touch them!! (pins arms to wall)

Lust: Greed, how will killing this kid help? Eventually Marta will die and you will live on without her, the curse of the Homunculus.

Greed: Just shut up you bitch!!! I don't wanna hear from you!

Envy: ooh, I think we hit a sore spot.

Greed: at least people can tell im a guy!

-Conversation has gone way over Naruto's head-

Greed: (stares at Naruto) What?

Naruto: Im confused… so... why is Gaara bleeding?

Greed: you don't know anything do you?

Naruto: I just want to know what happened!

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MUAHAHAHA!!! I will probably be updating more often now, I am one of our schools volleyball managers with my friend, so I will write during practices. I do believe this is my longest chapter! Just give me some ideas on what should happen next for the different scenes. Im really stuck on Hinata's. Reviews will be appreciated, Constructive criticism is welcome, and flames will be fed to Zetsu. 


	6. Central HQ

Hello, devoted readers! I thank you all for reviews, even if you didn't review. Hopefully this chapter won't totally suck.

Disclaimer:I'm lazy, forgive me, see chapter 1.

Warning: The insanity of my brain, my friend Katie's brain and a sugar rush

Chapter 6: Central HQ

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-In Risenbool-

Ed: Hey Al, Maybe we should take Kankuro to see teacher?

Al: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea

Kankuro: Who?

Al: Our Alchemy teacher.

Kankuro: What are they like?

Ed: She… is well…kinda strict… Al maybe we shouldn't go see her.

Kankuro: No, I want to meet her. She can't be worse than Gaara.

Ed: Are you sure?!

Kankuro: Has your teacher ever nearly killed you for looking at her?

Ed: Ok maybe Gaara is worse

Winry: Can I come too?

Al: Sure! Maybe we can stop in Central and say hi to Lt. Hughes on our way there?

Ed: That's a good idea Al. We haven't said hello to him or his wife in a while, it will be nice to talk to them again.

Kankuro: Great, more names to remember…

(Later on a train)

Kankuro: So this is your only mode of transportation?

Al: No, we have cars too, but this is easiest.

Kankuro: Weird, in my dimension, we have to walk or run everywhere

Al: Wow…

Winry: OoOoOoOoOH really?

Ed: Well that must suck

Kankuro: Nah you get use to it after most…of your life

Ed: And I repeat That must suck

Kankuro: So, how much longer till we get there?

Al: It shouldn't be too much longer now…

Winry: So Kanky may I call u Kanky?

Kankuro: Uh…… No…

Winry: Well ok then… Kanky

Kankuro: Don't call me that!!

Winry: What is it like to be a ninja?

Kankuro:…I don't know…boring…I guess…other then risking my life…every…single… day…

Winry: Wow u must strong then right?

Kankuro: (raises eyebrow) I…guess…so…

Ed: Ok then Winry can we get off the subject…Please

Al: Yeah that sounds good

Intercom on train Lady: Now stopping at Central Station.

Ed: That's our stop, grab your stuff and lets go everyone

-Several minutes later, as Ed, Al, Kankuro, and Winry are walking toward Central HQ-

Kankuro: So, who are we going to see now again?

Al: A friend of ours, his name is Maes Hughes.

Kankuro: So his house is this way?

Ed: No I think he would be at work this time of day.

Kankuro: Oh, _sorry! _In my village, the you either are on a mission or training…or trying to get sand out of your eyes

Ed: Sand?

Kankuro: We live in a desert.

Ed: Oh.

Al: We're here!

-Kankuro and Winry both look up at HQ in awe-

Ed: Winry, what are you looking at, you've been here before…

Winry: It just amazes me every time…

Ed: Winry you scare me…

Al: Yea, I think you've seen it enough times to get over it.

Winry: Well, I don't get to come to the city a lot!

Ed: Well you should come more often then!

Winry: I would if you would take me more!

Kanki: Umm, are we going to go in or what?

Ed and Winry simultaneously: Oh, yea. Sorry

-The 4 go into HQ and up to Hughes's office. Hughes is Sitting at his desk and Hinata is sitting on the floor reading a book-

Ed: Hey, major, nice to see you again. Who is that?

Hughes: How many times do I have to tell you Ed, I am a Lieutenant Colonel now! This is Hinata.

Hinata: (shyly) H-Hello

Ed: Hi. I'm Edward Elric; this is my younger brother, Alphonse, my friend Winry; (whispers) I apologize, Winry is a bit insane.), and this is Kankuro.

Winry: ED, I HEARD THAT!

Hinata: Kankuro, w-weren't you the guy who used the puppet in the

Kankuro: Chunin Exams? Yes I was, and you are the girl who got beaten to a bloody pulp by her cousin, am I correct?

Hinata: Y-yes

Al: You two know each other? That's great!

Hughes: Hi Ed, hi Al, hi Winry, Hi new guy.

Al: Hello, Nice to see you again, Mr. Hughes. How is Elicia?

Hughes: Cute as ever!

Al: Well, we better be going if we want to get there today, Ed.

Hughes: Alright, goodbye! Hinata, feel free to go with them, it sounds like people from your world are being transported to ours, maybe you will find more of your friends.

Hinata: Ok…thank you for letting me stay at your house.

Ed: Al's right, we had better get going. Bye!

-The group of 4 now with Hinata walk back to the train station and are almost getting on the train, they walk past of group of people wearing black/red clouded cloaks-

One of the people wearing cloaks: (ask Kankuro passes he whispers) Karasu?

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Okee dokee. It took longer to write that than I thought. I am gonna ask and tell me if I should: I was wondering if I should start throwing in Fruits Basket characters in there. Please review and tell me if it's a good idea. If I get more than 5 reviews telling me it's a good idea then I will put them in. Thank you for reading! Reviews would be nice!!! 


	7. Camping!

OK I know, I am a horrible author who never updates, I'm so sorry. Writer's block sucks!! I thought of this idea while lying in bed tryin to go to sleep. It hit me like a retarded crow running into my window in the dead of night (that was random) I am taking Bonfiore'sGirl's advice and not writing this in script form this chapter. We'll see what happens.

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing, 'cept my iPod, phone, Bible, camera, and my laptop. This and following chapters will include fan fiction logic (making airplanes appear several times in this fic so don't say I didn't warn you)

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Chapter 7: CAMPING?!

"Naruto, you are so stupid," Greed said glaring at him. "I'm serious; you have the attention span of a puppy. No offense, Doro."

"Not at all, boss." Dorochet said shrugging.

"Ok, sorry Envy, Lust, you're boring. I'm leaving."

"You're not that interesting yourself, Greed," Envy said and without another word; Envy, Lust, and Gaara disappeared.

Greed stood stationary for a few moments, with a puzzled look on his face, until he finally said, "Alright everybody, back to the bar."

When everyone got back to the Devil's Nest, they all sat around a table.

"Hey Greed, I'm still hungry!" Naruto shouted.

"Quit whining, Naruto. Ok Greed, we're not stupid, what's your idea?" Marta said.

"We need a change of scenery, don't you think, Dorochet? I've had enough of this town for the time being. We should all go camping!" Greed said enthusiastically.

Everyone stared at Greed as if he were insane.

"Come on, this town is so boring. There's nothing to do here. We should go camping somewhere far, far, away."

No one quit staring.

"Camping, is that safe?" Dorochet asked skeptically.

"That sounds fun:" Kimbly said walking into the room." I'll go."

"Camping! No problem. I'm a ninja; I do it all the time"

"It's settled then," Greed said clapping his hands together, "We're going. You people better start packing."

Later

Marta was sitting on her bed with a bag full of clothes.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Dorochet ran into her room screaming.

"What is it, Dorochet?"

"You forgot to pack your rubber ducky!" He threw a rubber duck into her bag.

"Dorochet, I don't own a rubber ducky." Marta said picking up the duck and throwing it back to Doro.

"But it has your name on it" Dorochet handed the duck back to Marta.

Sure enough, it had 'Marta' written on the bottom.

"Who would put my name on a rubber duck?" Marta racked her brain.

"Greed, Kimbly, me, Bido… lots of people!"

"But why, who would play a stupid joke like…." Marta stopped mid-sentence.

"I know who did"

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Everyone needs some Panic at the Disco in their lives. Ok that was really random. So who says Marta has a rubber ducky. It's up to the reviewers. So Review please! Thanks. See yall later


	8. Conspiracy

OK I know, I am a horrible author who never updates, I'm so sorry!! Every time I take more than 3 months to update, anyone who sees me is allowed to smack me across the face until I update. This will probably happen because this is the last free day I'm going to have for a while. I have a bunch of stories that I'm thinking about posting, read my profile then message me to tell me which ones you like. Sorry this is still the Devil's Nests part of the story. I have no idea what to do for the other side.

Disclaimer: Do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, or anything of importance (besides my bible… and some Q-tips….lol)

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Chapter 8: Conspiracy

(In Marta's room of the Devil's Nest)

"Who put my name on that rubber duck, Dorochet?" Marta kicked Dorochet into the wall. (AN: Sorry, Doro) "WHO FRAMED ME?"

Dorochet whimpered and tried to explain himself "He…uh well...he told me not to tell!" Marta looked angry at Dorochet's inadequate answer. She walked calmly over to one of her drawers and pulled out a bag.

"W-What are you going to do with those?" Doro's voice was panicked (does that look right to you?). "I am going torture you with them until you tell me who put my name on the duck." The malice in Marta's voice was almost tangible. She then poured the contents of the bag onto the bed and started throwing them at Dorochet.

Dorochet dodged as many of the fuzzy white projectiles as he could before they started hitting him in the forehead. "Marta! Please stop! I can't tell who put your name on the duck! He'll kill me! Please stop throwing cotton balls at me!"

"You better tell me now or I'll go get the Q-tips!" "Noooooooooo! Not the Q-tips! They're sharper and pointier!! Fine I'll tell you!" The cotton balls stopped flying. "It was….me." Flying balls of cotton resumed their path toward Dorochet.

"Why would you do that, Dorochet?" Marta continued until she was out of fluffy white things.

"I'm not the one who came up with the idea! I promise, Marta. I would never do something so insanely cruel. Greed told me to do it!"

"And why would Greed do that?"

"I don't know? I think he said Bido came up with the idea…"

Marta picked the bag back up and said, "Let's go talk to Greed about it."

The two then went to find Greed. When Marta and Dorochet found him, the homunculus was sitting at the bar talking about the camping trip with Naruto.

"Hey, Marta, This kid and I were just talking about the trip…do you think we should bring a tent or sleep under the stars?"

"Neither. We are not going anywhere until you tell me why you had Dorochet put my name on this rubber duck." She threw the rubber ducky at Greed's head.

"Well…Bido suggested it. I only did it because he asked me to d-"

Before Greed could finish his sentence Marta was already off trying to find Bido, and Dorochet was running ahead of Marta trying to warn Bido to get out while he still had the chance.

Bido was poking through some garbage cans just outside of the Devil's Nest when Dorochet, still screaming: "RUN BIDO RUN! FOR THE LOVE OF NO ONE THROWING COTTON BALLS AT YOU! RUN!" ran into him.

"Why would someone throw cotton balls at me?"

"Because Marta is very angry!"

Marta found the two and pinned Bido against the wall. "WHY DID YOU SUGGEST TO GREED THAT HE PUT MY NAME ON A RUBBER DUCK?" "Marta…heh…heh (nervous laughter.). You know perfectly well that I'm not smart enough to come up with something that complicated on my own! Kimbly told me to do it!"

"Why did I know that conniving alchemist was involved…? Come on Dorochet we're gonna go give Kimbly a little taste of revenge."

Opening the door to Kimbly's room revealed a dark abyss that smelled faintly of gunpowder. "I'm scared…." Dorochet mumbled as he and Marta made their way down the stairs. "So am I." Marta said when they got to the bottom of the stairs. Marta found the light switch and turned the light on.

Kimbly was asleep on a cot-like bed, his mouth hanging open and hair flying all over the place, and a sweet, innocent look on his face. Completely ignoring the latter of the qualities, Marta yelled "Wake up you pile of filth, and explain this."

Kimbly woke up, glaring blearily at Marta. "What are you talking about, Marta? Do you always go into people's bedrooms in the middle of the night and wake them up?" "Only when they frame me by planting this rubber duck in my room!" "What are you talking about?" "This" Marta took the rubber duck and showed it to Kimbly.

"Oh, that old thing, I told Bido to give it to you. Don't you have a rubber duck collection or something?"

"No, I don't and you know perfectly well that I don't! You were trying to humiliate me, weren't you? You were trying to make me look like an idiot! Well, your plan didn't work!"

Kimbly smiled mischievously, "Didn't it, Marta? I believe you have viciously tortured several residents of this bar, and some of them were secretly filming you. So, in essence, my plan did work!"

Greed was sitting at the bar, still talking to Naruto, when Marta came in. "I'm packed, lets go. " She said excitedly. "So am I!" Dorochet came in behind Marta.

"Alrighty, then! To the train station." Greed said clapping his hands together then beckoning to the door. Everyone followed Greed to the train station.

Several hours later, Kimbly woke up, dazed, in a dumpster somewhere on the other side of town.

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How was it? Review if you want, (it would be greatly appreciated) and constructive criticism welcome. Please forgive my torturing of Kimbly, it was meant only for the fun of this fic. Thanks for reading! ~Greedfreak~


	9. Finally Reuniting?

Hey y'all. Long time no typey. But anyways I'm back…where was I? Oh yeah, Ed, Al, and Kanki… sorry It's been so long… what does transmutation mean again… no, I'm only joking. I'm (sort of) beta-reading for my BFF BlueMoonSSR. I highly recommend her stories if you're a major Skip Beat! Fan, unless you're allergic to major grammatical and spelling mistakes. Which explains why I'm beta-reading for her. Anywho, let's see how this chapter turns out.

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**Chapter 9**

_On a train in the middle of the countryside._

"I see your two and raise you seven!" Kankuro said, throwing his toothpicks in the bowl they were currently using. Ed looked at him incredulously.

"You have to be bluffing" Ed said, calling.

"Uh… fold." Al shyly showed his cards. He had a four of clubs and a nine of spades.

"Sorry, Al. Better luck next time." Winry and Hinata were watching closely, trying to understand how to play, "That was a bad hand, wasn't it?"

"Atrocious." Kankuro said, "Show 'em."

"Double Ace, double jack." Ed said cockily.

"Ha! Royal Flush!" Kankuro picked up the bowl of toothpicks and dumped them on Ed's head. "I win again, Fullmetal boy!"

Ed resembled a pincushion. He pulled the toothpicks gingerly out of his head and said, "I think you're cheating, Ninja boy."

Kankuro just gave a mischievous smile, "Whatever you say," he softened when he turned to Winry, "want to play now?"

Winry gave a small smile and said,"sure. I think I understand."

Ed, Al, Kankuro, and Winry all played this hand. Al folded after the first play (again), Ed and Kankuro lost to Winry. They continued play 'Xing Hold 'Em' and Hinata just sat quietly beside them until their train arrived in Dublith.

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A strange group of people was walking into the train station. A tall, handsome, black-haired man, a wary looking woman with a red tattoo down her face and neck, a brown haired Samurai, and a kid with bright yellow hair and a bright orange jacket were standing at the ticket booth. The man behind the booth was trying to distribute four tickets among the strange crowd and make change from Greed's handful of money at the same time.

After saying goodbye to the frazzled ticket manager, Greed looked at his ticket.

"Our train doesn't get here until tonight… What the hell are we gonna do until then?"

"I think we should go bowling." Dorochet said

"YES, I LOVE BOWLING!" Naruto said excitedly.

Marta raised her eyebrow at him. "Bowling? Where is there a bowling alley around here?"

Dorochet pointed behind himself vaguely and said, "It's down the street. Why am I the only one who knows where anything is in this town? Let's go!"

Dorochet ran out of the station as the others tried to keep up.

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The train slowed to a halt around mid-afternoon. Kankuro, Ed, Al, Winry, and Hinata all stood up and exited the train.

Ed and Al lead the way down the streets of Dublith to the Curtis' Shop, and they all crowded into the shop.

"Teacher," Al called to the severe Izumi, "It's so nice to see you again, teacher! This is Kankuro and this is Hinata." Al said indicating the two.

"Don't tell me… they just appeared out of nowhere around 5 hours ago." Izumi said looking weary.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"A group with several people who randomly appeared nearly destroyed the shop a little while ago." Izumi sounded irritated.

"Really? What did they look like?" said Kankuro.

"Well there were two of those strange other-dimension people. One of them had red hair and a red tattoo on his forehead, and the other boy had bright yellow hair and an orange jacket.

Kankuro exclaimed "Gaara" at the same time Hinata said "Naruto!"

"So you know them?"

"Yes, we do," said Kankuro, "Where did they go?"

"Both groups went toward the train station."

TO BE CONTINUED


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